we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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