we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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