He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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