I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
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