I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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