You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
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Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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