totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize