He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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