i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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