someone threw a dead crab at me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize