my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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