can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize