Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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