I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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