You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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