Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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