A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize