she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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