wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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