the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
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I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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