Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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