I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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