I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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