Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
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Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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