I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
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my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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