This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
send nudes
from the living room?
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