Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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