Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize