fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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