90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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