i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize