I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize