Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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