Midget sex pt 2 tonight
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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