take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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