More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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