Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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