airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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