he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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