She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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