I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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