Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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