She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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