Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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