her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize