I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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