Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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