I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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