id be glad to
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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