Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize